Big Daddy Bevacqua and Nene Girl Sumahi

One of my Guam History students wrote this short story, as a gift to me and Sumahi. For those who have seen the movie Kick Ass or read the comic its based on, some of the names might be familiar.

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The Story of Big Daddy Bevacqua and Hit Girl Sumåhi

One normal day on the beautiful island of Guam, Big Daddy Bevacqua was tending to his breadfruit tree, while Nene Girl Sumåhi was picking up mango for her legendary smoothies at Sumåhi’s Smoothie Shop. All was fine and dandy until Nay V came to steal Big Daddy and Sumåhi’s breadfruit and mango. Nay V was tricky and brought mustard gas but no hotdogs!

Moments later Big Daddy B and Nene Girl Sumåhi awoke to a barren mango tree and fruitless breadfruit tree and oddly enough both craving hotdogs…Meanwhile back at Base Exchange Nay V brings the spoils of the recent raid to his Boss Uncle Sam. “Finally! Now make me my breadfruit chips and mango smoothies slaves!!!” The Pilipino caterers got to work immediately.

Back at the ranch Big Daddy Bevacqua and Nene Girl Sumåhi prepare to meet Uncle Sam head-on at the Base Exchange. Big Daddy Bevacqua arms himself with a sling, a pouch full of pugua’ and homework assignments. Nene Girl Sumåhi is sporting a beautiful pair of fresh bone daggers and tons of Candy. Big Daddy B and Nene Girl Sumåhi arrive at the Base Exchange only to be told they need to get a guest pass at the visitor’s office, so they turn their karabao around and head to the visitor’s office. Once the task was completed Big Daddy Bevacqua and Nene Girl Sumåhi continued to the infamous Base Exchange. Nay V arrives, “So you finally decided to show up?” Sumåhi begins by throwing candy on the ground behind Nay V, while Big Daddy Bevacqua slings a pugua’ straight to Nay V’s forehead. Nay V stumbles back slipping on the candy and begins to fall. Nene Girl Sumåhi slides underneath Nay V with daggers up…Needless to say Nay V ended up dead and covered in homework. Big Daddy B and Nene Girl Sumåhi enter the Base Exchange only to find that Uncle Sam had already fled, so they gather up all the chips and smoothies and head home after another hard day of fighting the US Empire.